On this day 5-10-2011, I got together with you. When we got together, we knew very well we went on too fast. We didn't even get to each other well enough or anything and got together knowing each other for just days. We were willing to try and keep this going even though we know this might be the biggest problem later on. We were happy and things were going well till I use my own hands to destroy it. I often times let my anger got hold over me and use 'break up' as a solution for the situation. Due to this, I make you feel as unimportant to me. Still, you didn't give up on me and keep on trying to keep this relationship going. I took you for granted, I didn't say 'break up' once or twice but four times. You know well that when I'm upset, I wouldn't listen anything that you're going to say, you even talk to my friend and ask my friend to talk me out. Thinking back now, there isn't a need for you to do so, but you did. I know you definitely care about us when you went up to my friend asking for help. It did helped, but I didn't learn. I often times talk about D infront of you, and make you feel like you're the same like D. I didn't spare a thought of how you will feel for all the things about D when its not even related to us in any way. You will always say things as an reminder for me to stop my sayings about them, but I just didn't listen the main purpose of you saying and I goes on and on. I only know what went wrong after everything was about to end. Fortunately, we are still back as one. Even so, I know things will not be the same. Because of the world we both live in, I can never fit into yours. And now I see the biggest problem in between us. Your life is full of goals and achievement, while me leading my life aimlessly not knowing what I really want. That's why when I'm always looking for you, you'd tell me now that you're still serving your ns you can assure me, what about when you've finish serving and when you're working and studying. For this, I see myself being useless enough not being able to live up to your standard in life. I accept the fact that I will never be able to keep up to your standard in life. I'm just a girl with no goals in life but having fun all day. All man want a useful women behind their back. And I knew nothing but having fun with days. I'm not fit to claim that I love you too, I don't even know the basics of having a relationship that's mutual trust. I'm still being a immature girl, thinking that a good relationship were be as sweet as how it is in a movie. That the boy will be there all the time and anything that a boy should do. But in reality, relationship can't be that wonderful. I don't wish that its that wonderful, but at the very least I can be as understanding as the girl in a movie. But I can't, I know I will only be a burden staying right beside you. I'm really sorry.

Ee Eng

Cynthia Luvs